The lack of communal/feminine traits is a hole narcs desperately try to fill with people they corner into a 0% agentic/masculine profile. A path at the opposite of the natural psychological growth Jung described. Their pattern is a dead-end in the same way some areas are shrinked in their brain.
The hole, the lack they should fill on their own, they seem not to be able to. It really appears there’s a circuitry deficiency : growing and finding an inner fulfillment is out if reach. The easiest path maybe (S PECK).
narcs really should be seen with compassion, as hard as it may seem, as despicable the consequences may appear, as they’re badly mentally stuck and it tends to mentally rot into psychosis while aging, with the boiling hate within. With an agressive personality not compensated for, it can turn hard to live while aging.
3 of them I’ve “observed” for 40 years. A mix of narc psychopath borderline histrionic paranoiac, now in their 70s or 80s. One of them was spoilt at a young age, another one abused, the 3rd one rather neglected. In all cases, a healthy rigorous education has been lacking and there were pervading stupidity and pathological setup in surrounding relationships. I can’t believe these 3 individuals couldn’t have grown differently. Neuroplasticity…
Now they’re spots of calcification at which we happen to aggregate for the worse. One never married, abused his parents and now lets everything around sink with him. The second one destroyed his marital life out of entitlement and put his wife through auto-immune diseases, is still promiscuous and self-victimizing, wanting no strings attached, proud of feeling nothing towards women. The last one’s husband committed suicide out of lack of affective support. We know them by their fruits.
The second one is rather borderline, with secondary psychopathy traits. The two other ones more emotionally impaired. The first one lacks both emotional and intellectual empathy. Had he not been spoilt, he could have appeared as simply Asperger. The third one is extremely manipulative, envious and destructive (constantly triangulating). She was probably neglected by her mother. She’s the sister of the first one and of the second one’s ex. So patterns run in families, which makes me conclude there’s a psycho-geneological aspect to it. And a strong genetical predisposition.
Having come across a few other narcs, I’ve observed that some of them aggregate and exploit a familial set of persons around them all their life, probably using FOG (see Susan Forward) and striking the sensitive family cord. The real malignant ones perfectly guess when you have their number.